Let's start with This Means War, the latest McG calamity to hit theaters. This time around, the director best known for the Charlie's Angels reboot and unfortunate sequel offers audiences another serving of artificial fluff studded with poorly choreographed action sequences and a plot line that will have you throwing your hands up in frustrated disbelief even with the mandatory suspension of disbelief that is a necessary accompaniment for any McG film.
Reese Witherspoon is lots of sex appeal and very little substance as Lauren, a product tester who becomes a love triangle participant after meeting CIA agents and partners Tuck (Tom Hardy), the dopey doormat for everyone from his ex-wife and child to his partner, and FDR (Chris Pine in a role more suitable to his pre-Star Trek days), the lovable lothario who is capable of change! Just watch! Between the time spent on an entirely unnecessary subplot in which the guys are the target of an international criminal's revenge plot, they attempt to win the heart of and bedroom time with Lauren. Helping her along as she plays the field is Trish, played by Chelsea Handler as Chelsea Handler throwing zingers against the proverbial wall until one of them sticks (SPOILER ALERT: None of them do).
This Means War is already the type of film audiences should walk into with low expectations, and still I was left scrambling for rare moments of anything even resembling enjoyment. In a genre that rarely brings anything new to the table, This Means War fails to use even the tried-and-true shticks effectively. It's not that the film is that terrible or even unwatchable, it's just really not that good, and let's face it–successful romantic comedies depend less on originality and more on doing the same ol' same ol' really, really well.
Despite all of McG's flashy, indulgent attempts at filmmaking, This Means War fails to illicit an audience reaction any more powerful than a resounding "Meh."
Final Grade: C+
Find It: In theaters
Friends with Kids is written and directed by its star (and Jon Hamm's real life partner) Jennifer Westfelt, who is perhaps best known for her debut film Kissing Jessica Stein. Westfelt's Julie and her best friend Jason (Adam Scott from Parks and Recreation) are surrounded by couple friends (the four Bridesmaids cast members mentioned above) who, despite pairing off are thankfully still hip, cool, career-minded Manhattanites just like our protagonists are–that is, until they start popping out babies. Fast forward several years and Julie and Jason look around to find these shells of their friends are now Brooklyn-living (how scandalous!), diaper changing, screaming, can't-stay-awake-through-dinner strangers whom they look upon with pity. But it's not marriage or child bearing alone that has caused this, Julie and Jason decide: it is the combination of the two. Their solution is to have a child of their own with custody and expenses split 50-50 without ever entering into a relationship or even cohabitation (they live in different apartments in the same building). At first, all seems to be going swimmingly in this human science experiment, but as it often does, things get complicated by those silly little inconveniences called human emotions.
Friends with Kids is plagued primarily by two problems, the first being a major identity crisis. The film's advertising and even the first 20-30 minutes of the film allude to the plot most viewers are likely expecting going in, which at first glance seems to be a film based on the idea of what happens when a person is the last among their friends to pair off and procreate, or shock of shocks, has absolutely no desire to do so. Though not an original concept, it was one I was looking forward to seeing at the hands of such a promising cast. Then the film changes gears and becomes what happens when the title is approached as a play on words: friends who have kids together. Which brings us to the other problem: the friends. For a plot that is decidedly focused on Julie and Jason, there is little to no time spent on what about these characters would make us emotionally invested in their future happiness within the 90-minute confines of this film. During a conversation in which the two characters discuss whether kids can be assholes (a scenario played out with far more skill on the Sex and the City series), it becomes glaringly apparent that everyone in this movie is, in one way or another, an asshole.
Friends with Kids depends too much on casting and not enough on substance and character development. We know we want these characters figure it out, but do we know why, other than it's the established protocols for a romantic dramedy? The concept is not a hopeless one, just as the film is not. Westfelt is all the sweet and sincere naivety her self-written role demanded, Chris O'Dowd is entirely likable as Maya Rudolph's man-child husband, and Megan Fox is surprisingly capable as Jason's self-absorbed actor girlfriend, though one wonders how far of a stretch the role really was. Friends with Kids was promising in several ways and sadly failed to deliver on just about all of them.
Final Grade: B-
Find It: In theaters
